My best friend is getting married and she asked me if I was going to bring a date to the wedding. I told her that I would since my girlfriend pretty much volunteered to be my date. I mean seriously… who goes to a wedding alone?
This sent me into panic mode. My best friend definitely knows I’m into females even though I think it makes her uncomfortable. It may just make me uncomfortable. I’m not sure.
I contemplated going with my girlfriend as a “friend” but I felt everyone would know anyway because she’s going to wear a tux that I’m sure she will look very good in and I’m gonna have a hard time not admiring her. She even volunteered to wear a dress. I thought that was very cute.
As much as I like to look at feminine women, it’s something about a woman in men’s clothes that really gets me going, so no I don’t want her to show up in a dress.
I made a rational to decision to skip coming out altogether. The important people in my life know I’m into women but not that I have a girlfriend. So why make it a big deal?
I am by no means trying to keep my relationship a secret but rather I am going to mention it casually as to avoid getting asked questions I won’t or don’t want to answer.
I tried this:
I’m on this long ass bus ride to see my sister. She stays about five hours away but the bus took an extra two hours. I sat next to this man for like three hours. He was black, 45 I heard him say, although he looked 50. He had long hair, in braids, gray and black. He spoke as if he was on drugs or drunk. I’m not sure, he was hard to understand at times. I found him funny. I must admit, I laugh a lot.
I’m texting my girlfriend and he pulls out his phone and says, “mine be jumping look.” He was referring to facebook. I smile at him. Later in the conversation he asks me if I have Instagram. I made a face and said, “Kinda, I only have one because my girl asked me to. I don’t have any pictures on there.”
He responds, “Oh, ain’t nothing wrong with that.” Now I made a face at him and say, “Nothing wrong with what?”
He says, “You said your girl asked you.” I disengaged from this conversation. My issue being when the hell did I say there was something wrong with me having a girl. Clearly he was surprised since most of the World plays straight, but why act like it’s a problem?
Then he says something like, “Niggas be fucking up.” I am just blown away by how men take credit for women being with other women.
Clearly if my husband was a good husband I wouldn’t be divorcing him but honestly I knew long ago that if we ever didn’t work out, I would be with a woman. I’ve always wanted to, I was just scared.
The only thing my husband is guilty of is making me not want to be with him. As far as me being with women, this is something I’ve always wanted since the beginning of time.
I will see my oldest friend this weekend and I will see how her nosey ass reacts to the news.