It’s been a while but I was recently reminded that I need to keep up with this blog. I have many dating adventures which I will most definitely share.
I was having a conversation with a woman I speak with regularly. Usually it’s about a woman that we both are friends with, whom she claims to be so into. Today she says to me “It’s hard for me to know where I stand with you.” So I tell her, “I physically find you attractive but you have too much going on for me to consider being anything more than friends with you.”
Just so you have a background on her. She lives with a chick that she has sex with on the regular basis. She’s adopted and has many issues with her foster parents and her real parents. She is a really good looking woman externally, but internally she needs to find herself.
So later in the conversation, I asked her about being a “touch me not.” In case you don’t know what that is, it’s a woman that doesn’t like their lady parts being touched at all during sex. So she says something along the lines of, “I’ve learned from my friends about giving it up to people who don’t deserve it. I’m saving myself for love. I’m a true virgin.”
I respond, “I understand, I enjoy sex very much but it’s not satisfying when it’s not with someone I don’t care about.”
She says, “It won’t be until you learn to love yourself and that person also loves you.” Then she goes on this rant “People low key high key blow tf out me. Is the world so phuqd that Purity is so invincible. Self preservation must just be a thing of the past that died with chivalry and verbal articulation? This worlds abnormalities make me feel like a motherless child and the last of a dying breed.”
Obviously I felt that this was directed toward me although she didn’t specifically say it to me. I have a couple issues with her thinking.
1. She’s not a virgin, she uses a strap on to have sex with females and provides oral sex to them.
2. Who says I don’t love myself?
Although I was quite offended by her words, I understand that she has some issues that she needs to deal with herself. So I didn’t go off on her. Although I felt she deserves it.
But I have ran across this issue many times. People who believe that virginity is the act of a man penetrating a woman’s vagina with his penis. Although I lost my virginity this way I believe that sex is sex period.
I used to know this chick that enjoyed anal and oral sex. She also enjoyed being fingered BUT since her vagina had never been penetrated by a penis she calls herself a virgin.
Do you see where I’m going with this? Forget me being offended by her assumption that I don’t love myself because I enjoy sex. Why would anyone who engages in sex consider themselves virgins.
Maybe this is just my opinion but as a woman all those things I gave as an example would be sex if I did them or asked my significant other if they have done them. I assume in the straight World men are more lenient with fingering being sex but as lesbians this is something we do regularly in bed and there is no way it’s not sex. Also, if you can catch an STD from it, with the exception of kissing, it is definitely considered sex in my eyes.
But you know what they say, “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.” Personally I’m teaching my son that sex is sex and he needs to protect himself no matter where he lays his mouth or penis. But hey, maybe it’s just me.