Tag Archives: family

EP 12: Life after Ecstasty

“We didn’t find semen but there were traces of spermicide so he must have used a condom.” The doctor said.

Arianna looked sick. The nurse, Abigail, felt for her. This was her first time dealing with a rape victim and it brought tears to her eyes.

“We found traces of methylene-dioxymethamphetamine in your system which is why you remember doing it but don’t feel like you consented.”

“Oh my God, what is that?” Arianna asked frightened.

“It’s Ecstasy.” Abigail clarified.

“It’s what?!” Tears trickled down her cheeks. She felt violated.

“Your blood alcohol level was still high, especially since you haven’t drank since last night,” The doctor continued.

“I drank before I went over there.” Arianna exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know you’re a little shaken up right now. It’s not your fault.” Abigail tried to comfort her.

“It’s fine.” Arianna dried her tears.

She got into her car and headed home. It was like her World was crashing around her. There was too much going on. She called Shane to make herself feel better. He answered right away.

“Hi, Shane.”

“Ari, is everything ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine. There’s a lot going on. I just found out my best friend is in the hospital… and Malachi left.”

Shane smiled to himself. Maybe he would get the satisfaction of having Arianna to himself. “You’re feeling alright?”

“Not really but I’m handling everything as it comes.”

They talked until Arianna reached her house. “Um, let me call you back,” she said then hung up the phone.  She was surprised to see Malachi’s car when she pulled up and was hesitant to walk in.

“So, I leave and you stay out all night?” Malachi accused when she walked through the door.

“I went to Danielle’s because she didn’t answer.” Arianna wishes she would’ve stayed home last night.

“Bullshit.”

“Malachi, I don’t want to argue. I’ve had a really long day.” The tears formed in her eyes, falling gently down her face.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He was pained to see Arianna cry.

“Nothing.” Arianna got in the shower and turned the water as hot as it would go. She attempted to wash away the shame and betrayal she felt.

“What’s going on Arianna?” Malachi asked from the door.

“Can I just please have a minute?” She begged from the shower. She broke down, crying hysterically. She had cried before but it finally hit her what had happened. Scenes from that night flashed in and out of her head making her nauseous. When Danielle finds out she’ll be devastated. And Arianna was ashamed. She was so ashamed. She scrubbed her skin raw under the hot water turning it red.

“Arianna, what’s wrong?” Malachi had never seen her break down. He had been with her through some pretty hard times. He was worried.

She wouldn’t answer. The hot water pelted her body. She wanted to wash the dirtiness away. She wanted to forget this whole thing happened.

She got out the shower and Malachi was waiting for her when she opened the door. He wrapped his arms around her and she found comfort in his arms. She needed him right now.

Her phone rang surprising her. She didn’t recognize the phone number, but she answered anyway.

“This is Arianna,” She said pushing Malachi away. She went into Carter’s room and closed the door.

“Hey beautiful,” she heard.

“Stacey?”

“Yeah. How are you? I really want to talk about what happened between us last night.”

“What do you mean between us? You drugged me. I would’ve never slept with you if you wouldn’t have put something in my drink. Loser.”

“That may be true but you had a good time. Orgasms don’t lie.”

“Stacey. What is wrong with you? Don’t call my phone ever again.” She hung up.

“What’s wrong?” Malachi asked from the other room concerned.

“Nothing.” She claimed. But there was something wrong. There was a lot wrong. The tears flowed freely from her eyes onto the pillow she held to comfort her. She rested in Carter’s twin size bed feeling horrified by what happened to her.

The next morning Arianna woke up and headed to the police station. She looked stressed and sad to the officer. The officer helped her with the police report but it was very uncomfortable. The details they asked for traumatized her all over again. She was embarrassed that she went over there drunk and even more embarrassed that she didn’t catch on to the extra sugar being something else.

She called to see if Danielle was still at the hospital. She’d been released and Arianna wanted to see her.

“Danielle, where are you?” Arianna said after Danielle answered.

“I’m at home.”

“With Stacey?”

“No she went to work, or wherever she goes.” Danielle commented suspiciously.

“Cool. I want to swing by.”

“Ok, I’ll be here. I’m not cleared to go back to work. They sent the work anyway.” She laughed. I’m getting rest though.”

Arianna headed to Danielle’s house. She walked in and found Danielle in her living room on the pull out bed.

“I thought you would be in your bed.”

“I figure if I have to stay in bed another week I want to be in a bigger space. The hospital made me want to pull all of my hair out.”

“I’m glad your back home.” Arianna smiled then sat next to her best friend.

“There has been a lot going on lately. Malachi left the other night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Arianna said hesitantly and looked away.

“Why? I thought you two were good.”

“Well, there’s this guy at work. Shane.”

“Shit, I guess I’m not the only one then.” Danielle laughed. “Shane huh? What’s he like?” Arianna told her about Shane.

.

“Girl, you a hot ass mess.” She laughed, “What is wrong Malachi?”

“His jealousy for one.”

“He should be jealous, you’re messing with a coworker.” She laughed uncontrollably.

“He’s jealous of you.”

“Of me?” Danielle looked puzzled.

“Yeah, he thinks you and I are… you know.” She looked at Danielle suggestively.

“No I don’t know.” Danielle raised her eyebrow.

“He thinks we’re sleeping together.” Arianna confessed.

Danielle’s eyes widened, then she burst into laughter, “Arianna!” She threw a pillow at her.

Arianna laughed with her. This wasn’t the reaction she expected but it was making her feel so much better. “Why are you hitting me, that’s what he said?”

“Ew, you told him about the time we made out.” Danielle smiled and made kissy faces at Arianna.

“Oh my God you’re so gross.” Arianna slapped her shoulder. Then lay in her lap. “Remember those college days?” Danielle nodded. “I miss them.”

“Well, they were good times,” Danielle agreed smiling.

“I’m thinking about taking the bar again. I just need something new,” Arianna blurted out.

“Well, I can help you study.” Danielle offered.

“Thanks.” Arianna said. A tear fell down her cheek, Danielle was more than her best friend. She was her support system.

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Temptation and Betrayal

EP 6: Past Lives

It’s been two days since Jordan heard from Danielle. She really didn’t know how to feel about it but assumed that maybe she was busy. Or scared. Either way Jordan was not feeling good about the situation at all.

There were a lot of things that the two of them hadn’t talked about. Like whether they were single. How could she forget to ask? Danielle was so interested in her that it had to be real. But what if she has someone at home.

“Mom can you take me to school today?” Her 12-year-old daughter, Kiyah, asked from the bathroom.

“Are your legs broken?”

“C’mon mom please?”

“Ok girl, hurry up then.”

“Can you take me to McDonald’s too?” Kiyah asked smiling.

“I knew this was a set up. I can’t trust you,” Jordan said laughing and shaking her head. “Sure.”

Kiyah ran to finish getting ready.

She talked Jordan’s ear off the entire time they were in the car together. Jordan kept thinking about how Kiyah will be starting Middle School this coming school year. It was hard to believe. It seemed like just yesterday she was telling her mom that she was pregnant.

As Jordan headed to work she thought about Danielle again. What was keeping her?

She texted her again, Where are you? and still didn’t get a response. She was feeling a little disappointed because they really hit it off the other night. They exchanged messages all day and then it’s like Danielle disappeared.

What was going on?

Her phone rang. She got excited hoping it was Danielle. But it was Ken, Kiyah’s father.

“What’s up?” Jordan answered.

“Ugh, why you always trying to sound like a man?” He said disgusted.

“Why can’t you ever be a man?” Jordan retorted.

“I’ll always be more man than you.”

“That’s debatable,” She countered rolling her eyes. “What do you want?”

“To take my daughter away from you. That dike shit is nasty and she should know.”

She slammed the phone down. She hated giving him the time of day with an argument. Ken really was a piece of work. He has always been the biggest asshole ever.  Jordan couldn’t really understand how she let it get so far with him.

She was young and he was the quarterback at the time. All the girls wanted him and since rumors always surrounded her sexuality growing up, she wanted to do something to stop them. So she dated a guy. She tried to date a guy would be more accurate. They had sex and she got pregnant.

After a long day at work Jordan liked to come home and relax. She owns five car wash and detail shops. She likes to visit one or two every day for a few hours. It’s always unannounced and chosen randomly unless there’s a complaint. Her partner fills in for her from time to time.

When Jordan pulled up she could see that Kiyah was home because the lights were on. Jordan didn’t directly give her a baby sitter but she has her neighbor Ms. Margaret check on her every couple of hours. She even does a walk through for Jordan to make sure Kiyah is safe and alone.

Jordan grabbed the mail as she headed to her condo on the top floor. Downtown Manhattan was expensive living but Jordan loved it.

She called Ms. Margaret on the way up to let her know she was home. The elevator beeped on every floor, almost as quickly as Jordan sifted through the mail.

The elevator doors opened to Jordan’s floor but she stood there staring at the familiar handwriting on the envelope addressed to her at the bottom of the stack. Jordan felt her World tumbling down around her. The color drained from her face and her eyes widened.

“Mom.” Kiyah said meeting her at the elevator.

“Yes baby,” Jordan said snapping back to reality while her heart raced with fear.

“What’s wrong? You look like you saw a ghost,” Kiyah asked worried about her mom. She glanced at the stack of mail.

“Nothing.” Jordan put the letter back on the bottom quickly so Kiyah couldn’t see it, then took the envelope directly to her room.

Kiyah stood there. She didn’t understand her mom’s strange behavior but she brushed it off.

Jordan emerged from her bedroom with a fake smile on her face, “What do you want for dinner?”

“McDonald’s!” Kiyah said with no hesitation.

“No McDonald’s, your fast food quota for the week is maxed out.”

“Well, next time can I get a warning before my last meal?” She smiled.

“How about you stop wasting it on nasty McDonald’s,” Jordan laughed. “What do you want that we have here?”

“Mom, it’s not funny,” Kiyah said laughing, “Just make whatever.”

“Ok, remember you said that. Give me 30 minutes, and dinner should be ready.”

“Alright.” Kiyah kissed her mom on the cheek and left her alone to cook dinner.

Jordan sautéed some shrimp then steamed some rice and mixed vegetables for dinner. Her mind immediately went back to the letter. How did she find her again?

She texted her brother Omar, She’s back.

EP 5: Love is With Whom we Make It

Arianna watched the sunset, indulging in the moment. She realized that she and Shane shared more than just lunch. They shared an interest in people, politics, and much of the World. Sure he was fine but he was so much more than just his looks. They shared common goals and pasts. He was a companion intellectually. He was really something special.

“So I’ve been thinking. The conference is coming up and I wanted to know if you would go with me?” Shane blurted out uncomfortably.

“What? A conference?” Arianna panicked. She had known the attraction was mutual but they had never crossed the line. This would definitely change things between them. Was she ready for that next step? Was she really ready to get rid of Malachi and try to be happy with someone else?

“Yeah, with some partners. It’s a couple hundred miles away. I really mean no disrespect by it. I just want to get to know you better.”

“You’re serious?” Arianna looked alarmed, “You know I can’t just spend a week with you, I have a kid, and a boyfriend, whom I live with!”

“Why are you angry with me? I’m just trying to give us some time to see if we should pursue what’s between us.”

“Us? That’s ridiculous.” Arianna lied.

“You can’t deny that you feel it too.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of feeling.” She was stubborn.

He really wanted her to reconsider. “Just take a couple days to think about it.”

“No. I’m not easy. You can’t just tell me you’re interested then ask me to sleep with you in the next sentence.”

“I never said we would sleep together. It’s a two bedroom suite. I just want to get to know you. I swear.”

“Swearing? Quite the gentleman’s promise.” She couldn’t help but to laugh, lightening the mood between them.

He laughed too, then grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes. Arianna’s body was convincing her that she was close to fulfilling her desires of Shane and everything that would come along with that.

“Give me a couple days to think about it.”

“Ok,” he answered sincerely.

Arianna considered going to the conference with him. He was right. There are many things they can’t do because she has to come home every night. The conference is for four days and will be out of town. It’s perfect.

On the way home from work she stopped to see her parents.

“So what is this conference for?” Her mother asked suspiciously.

“It’s for the partners. My boss invited me last minute. Someone else was supposed to go but they were fired. I can’t say I feel bad for them.”

“And why isn’t Malachi coming with you?”

“He has to work.”

“What are you going to tell him when he asks you?”

“Spouses aren’t invited and he does have to work.”

“Girl who do you think you’re fooling? You’re lying through your teeth and to your mom? Shame on you.”

“Mom, I’m not lying.”

“Mm hm,” Her mom appeared doubtful.

“Can you watch Carter?”

“So you can cheat on your little boyfriend?”

“Mom, it’s not cheating. It’s work.”

“You’re really sticking to that story? Sure, I’ll watch my grandbaby. You need to remember that whatever’s done in the dark will come to light.”

“Thank you mama and I know.”

“If you knew, you wouldn’t be doing this. You better hope Malachi believe it more than me.”

“Thanks mama. I’ll call you with the details.”

Her mom’s warning bothered her deep down. I mean she could always stick with the lie no matter what but she wasn’t good at lying and she really didn’t know where she stood with Malachi. Their relationship was rocky. The jealousy was becoming too much for Arianna. It’s crazy.

She wanted out. She wanted Malachi to care about her happiness instead of only his. He had some great qualities but all in all, she didn’t like the way he treated her.

She grabbed Carter from daycare and the weight of it felt confining. She and Malachi have been together for a little over three years. Carter’s only five and the weight of leaving the only father he’s ever really had, made her feel she was two tons.

It was definitely something to think about. It isn’t like she’s never cheated before. She just hadn’t considered leaving before.

The thought of being able to date who she wanted and have weekends of peace where she doesn’t have to fight with Malachi.

The last thing Arianna had to do was tell Malachi about the last minute trip and that Carter would not be staying with him but she really wanted to go.

She was excited by everything. She felt bad for spending a week with another man. Especially since she definitely wanted to do some very physical things to him.

He made her feel things that Malachi had been lacking for some time now.

She pulled into the driveway hesitantly. She was trying to prepare herself to lie better than she did to her mom.

Faces of Truth

Most humans these days are genetically engineered. My sister and I both had all of our features hand picked by our parents.

Not everyone can afford to handpick everything. Those that can’t, have to get at least one feature, the facade lines. It allows emotions and feelings to be shown on the face. At first people boycotted it but they found themselves outcast beyond the grid. The ones in our faces pulsated when we are angry or scared. It turns blue when we’re happy and red when we’re angry. The lines differentiate us from those outside the grid.

The grid is the area around the town that blocks us off from the rest of the World. It looks like a grid too. It’s a black wall that contains changing graphics representing the current state of Perfecta, our town.

The Green was the healthiest, then blue, yellow, orange, and red. I have never saw it go past yellow. When it does hit yellow that usually means the outcast are attempting new entry. This was allowed after serious screening. However, when it goes to orange that means outcasts are trying to enter illegally. This also includes people from the outside who try to enter without permission.

The dome is protected by Vamphoons and our Perfect Soldiers. The Vamphoons are like cannons that are actually connected to the dome. As of now the dome itself has been impenetrable. The Perfect Soldiers are robot men that surround the outside of the dome. They deny and grant entry. As an interpreter, I am able to sign into the robots at anytime to see the outside World.

I entered my hall and began to do my usual nightly routine. First my nightly injections for the facade lines. You could actually get away with not taking the injections for a month but my job requires that I take them daily.

Earlier today I ran into Kim who was obviously scared. Her lines kept jumping. I have known her, pretty much my whole life. She went to classes with my sister and I.

We have the same assignment so I see her everyday. We both monitor the grid to ensure it’s at it’s best health and we prevent unhealthy states.

There is a lot involved in the health; the people and their state of mind, the economy, and the actual health of the manufactured Earth.

When I left the grid was fading to blue. That’s not usually a huge cause for concern but it seems as though Kim knows more than she let on.

I sat down and turned on the Cintron. It is kind of like a computer was in the old days but it does more. There’s no keyboard. The screen connects right into the facade lines and transmits our thoughts and what we want to do. My sister had just gotten married and moved to the other side of town, so I often communicated with her this away.

The next morning I got up and the grid was yellow. I’ve never seen it change so quickly.  I got to work and spotted Kim in her office.

She was calmer but still was in a very uncomfortable state. Her lines pulsated and were a copper color I’ve never seen before. “What’s going on Kim?” I asked her, clearly worried.

“Close the door,” She whispered. I did as she asked, stepping into her office. “We’re under attack,” she confessed.

“Attack?”

“Yes, look at this.” She turned the screen of her Cintron around. I could see that she had connected to one of the robots eyes. The town was surrounded by men and cannons.

“How did it get this bad?”

“When’s the last time you were connected?” She asked.

“Maybe two days ago.”

“We’re in trouble Scott.”

“The daily checks were not done as required. It’s too late to stop them. War will start.”

“What?!” I felt fear creep though my veins.

You are NOT the father!

 

You know what I’m talking about. Maury, he is so infamous for that. It makes me laugh but I feel like my like my life could be summed up on The Maury show too. I believe that there are a lot of people from combined families. What does that mean for the father or mother that’s not there 24/7.

Aside from my many many problems in life, I have this dysfunctional family. Not only the one I created for my son, but the one I grew up in.

I like to clarify that just because I grew up not knowing my real father, doesn’t mean I grew up fatherless. There is a difference. I would love to talk about the man I call “Daddy,” the man that raised me and taught me about men. I should fire his ass actually. Anyway, I love that man with so much and respect him for what he did for me because my biological father was not in my life.

Ok, I may later regret this blog. Hurt feelings maybe but for some reason I feel like the World should feel my pain. I realized a long time ago that pain and circumstances are not unique to you or me. These things happen to everybody. 

At this moment, I understand absolutely every single saying I’ve ever heard about life…

I met my real dad when I was about 23. I have never liked him and honestly I still don’t. I thought this would be a good opportunity to get to know him. I’ve probably had five conversations maybe before now. 

So, I have to stay with him for a while. I wanted him to help me because he wanted to. Not because he felt sorry for me or because he wants to re-raise me. Look, I told my mom I wouldn’t curse him out. I fully intended on keeping that promise but it’s not looking good.

My second night there we have dinner and he tells me I can’t stay with him for the next three months, which is until I leave for school. 

That’s fine if he feels that way however, I told him what I needed before I made the move. Also he cut me off while I was talking which reminded me of my husband.

The man doesn’t know anything about me, then makes snide remarks about the decisions in my life. He’s so judgmental… Reminds me of my husband.

He’s right about everything and there is no one that can teach him anything. Well maybe if they have more money, then he’ll listen. He worships money…. Again reminding me of my husband.

Listen…. I know you can see the pattern.

He’s such a liar. Now my husband does lie although, I don’t think he ever lied to me. But my father lies about everything. EVERYTHING!!!

To make matters worse he’s a damn preacher. Don’t know if it disturbs you but it highly disturbs me. This man expressed to me that I need to go to church if I stay in his house. Well, it’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever listen to his ass preach at that church.

He’s a pig. Watching him eat is almost like watch a garbage disposal chop food, accompanied with the sound of actual pigs inhaling slop down their throat like it’s air. I don’t have anything against fat people. I’m sure I’m considered fat in some circles. The issue is that him and gluttony go hand in hand.

He is the epitome of all seven of the deadly sins. He told me one day that he likes talk radio but doesn’t listen to other preachers. He works so much, I have no idea when he has time to even study his Bible. Surely a pastor reads the Bible daily. 

I just don’t like him and his attitude. This will truly be the last thing he ever does for me. I’m going to contact him more often after I leave though. Just because I think he’s ignorant and I don’t think I should penalize him with not knowing me based on that. 

 

Hiding in the Closet

Growing up, nothing made my heart ache more than seeing two women living and being together in love. I’ve never even fantasized about having that American Dream life that I was so close to achieving. As a matter of fact, I did what I did in life based on how others would perceive me.
In my reality; I’m 28, separated, about to start school again and move far away from everything I know.
I have a girlfriend. It’s a simple fact that she deserves a good woman, which I consider myself to be. My problem is that I will eventually have to tell my parents. I mean why should I care? I’m almost 30. This is why I care:
  • My sister goes back and forth with men and women. I don’t want to be viewed as confused. I also don’t want them to be disappointed that they have yet another daughter interested in women.
  • I feel like I became the perfect child to them. Educated, married with one kid and even an entrepreneur. I will certainly be knocked off of my pedestal. This tops my divorce, trust me.
  • I don’t want to be perceived by them as indecisive. I definitely don’t want them to think I’m going crazy because of my brother’s murder.
Again, all these things pale in comparison to my happiness. I keep asking myself, can I spend my life with a woman? I don’t have an answer. I ask myself, can I spend my life with a man? Both answers escape me. So I ask myself can I spend my life with Sweets (my girlfriend)? and I still don’t know the answer.
She’s so sweet and nice and she cares so much about me. She’s perfect to me but I’m scared. Being with a woman is something that I have always wanted but when it comes down to announcing it to the World, I am at a loss of words.
I sometimes blame my indecisiveness and unwillingness to make a decision on the fact that I am fresh out of a relationship that lasted over ten years.
So, back to my original question, can I spend my life with a woman?
I want to say, it has surely been a fantasy although I have tried so many times to remove the image from my head. I convinced myself that being with a woman is a choice and I may as well be with a man because I can. I can actually choose whether I want to be with a man or a woman so why not choose a man? The problem with this is that I have always longed to be with a woman. I don’t just want the sex, although it is fantastic, I want the love too.
Did I forget to say that she’s all in? All in!! She constantly talks about our future together and being a family and even though I keep telling her to slow down and give me time, I can’t help but to think about our future too. I can’t help but recognize that I am falling in love with her and I want to.
I don’t have an answer to my questions but I do have a girlfriend. I am very sure that she would be hurt if she knew that I was keeping her a secret. I don’t want to hurt her. I have to tell my family… but when?