Tag Archives: girlfriend

EP 12: Life after Ecstasty

“We didn’t find semen but there were traces of spermicide so he must have used a condom.” The doctor said.

Arianna looked sick. The nurse, Abigail, felt for her. This was her first time dealing with a rape victim and it brought tears to her eyes.

“We found traces of methylene-dioxymethamphetamine in your system which is why you remember doing it but don’t feel like you consented.”

“Oh my God, what is that?” Arianna asked frightened.

“It’s Ecstasy.” Abigail clarified.

“It’s what?!” Tears trickled down her cheeks. She felt violated.

“Your blood alcohol level was still high, especially since you haven’t drank since last night,” The doctor continued.

“I drank before I went over there.” Arianna exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know you’re a little shaken up right now. It’s not your fault.” Abigail tried to comfort her.

“It’s fine.” Arianna dried her tears.

She got into her car and headed home. It was like her World was crashing around her. There was too much going on. She called Shane to make herself feel better. He answered right away.

“Hi, Shane.”

“Ari, is everything ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine. There’s a lot going on. I just found out my best friend is in the hospital… and Malachi left.”

Shane smiled to himself. Maybe he would get the satisfaction of having Arianna to himself. “You’re feeling alright?”

“Not really but I’m handling everything as it comes.”

They talked until Arianna reached her house. “Um, let me call you back,” she said then hung up the phone.  She was surprised to see Malachi’s car when she pulled up and was hesitant to walk in.

“So, I leave and you stay out all night?” Malachi accused when she walked through the door.

“I went to Danielle’s because she didn’t answer.” Arianna wishes she would’ve stayed home last night.

“Bullshit.”

“Malachi, I don’t want to argue. I’ve had a really long day.” The tears formed in her eyes, falling gently down her face.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He was pained to see Arianna cry.

“Nothing.” Arianna got in the shower and turned the water as hot as it would go. She attempted to wash away the shame and betrayal she felt.

“What’s going on Arianna?” Malachi asked from the door.

“Can I just please have a minute?” She begged from the shower. She broke down, crying hysterically. She had cried before but it finally hit her what had happened. Scenes from that night flashed in and out of her head making her nauseous. When Danielle finds out she’ll be devastated. And Arianna was ashamed. She was so ashamed. She scrubbed her skin raw under the hot water turning it red.

“Arianna, what’s wrong?” Malachi had never seen her break down. He had been with her through some pretty hard times. He was worried.

She wouldn’t answer. The hot water pelted her body. She wanted to wash the dirtiness away. She wanted to forget this whole thing happened.

She got out the shower and Malachi was waiting for her when she opened the door. He wrapped his arms around her and she found comfort in his arms. She needed him right now.

Her phone rang surprising her. She didn’t recognize the phone number, but she answered anyway.

“This is Arianna,” She said pushing Malachi away. She went into Carter’s room and closed the door.

“Hey beautiful,” she heard.

“Stacey?”

“Yeah. How are you? I really want to talk about what happened between us last night.”

“What do you mean between us? You drugged me. I would’ve never slept with you if you wouldn’t have put something in my drink. Loser.”

“That may be true but you had a good time. Orgasms don’t lie.”

“Stacey. What is wrong with you? Don’t call my phone ever again.” She hung up.

“What’s wrong?” Malachi asked from the other room concerned.

“Nothing.” She claimed. But there was something wrong. There was a lot wrong. The tears flowed freely from her eyes onto the pillow she held to comfort her. She rested in Carter’s twin size bed feeling horrified by what happened to her.

The next morning Arianna woke up and headed to the police station. She looked stressed and sad to the officer. The officer helped her with the police report but it was very uncomfortable. The details they asked for traumatized her all over again. She was embarrassed that she went over there drunk and even more embarrassed that she didn’t catch on to the extra sugar being something else.

She called to see if Danielle was still at the hospital. She’d been released and Arianna wanted to see her.

“Danielle, where are you?” Arianna said after Danielle answered.

“I’m at home.”

“With Stacey?”

“No she went to work, or wherever she goes.” Danielle commented suspiciously.

“Cool. I want to swing by.”

“Ok, I’ll be here. I’m not cleared to go back to work. They sent the work anyway.” She laughed. I’m getting rest though.”

Arianna headed to Danielle’s house. She walked in and found Danielle in her living room on the pull out bed.

“I thought you would be in your bed.”

“I figure if I have to stay in bed another week I want to be in a bigger space. The hospital made me want to pull all of my hair out.”

“I’m glad your back home.” Arianna smiled then sat next to her best friend.

“There has been a lot going on lately. Malachi left the other night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Arianna said hesitantly and looked away.

“Why? I thought you two were good.”

“Well, there’s this guy at work. Shane.”

“Shit, I guess I’m not the only one then.” Danielle laughed. “Shane huh? What’s he like?” Arianna told her about Shane.

.

“Girl, you a hot ass mess.” She laughed, “What is wrong Malachi?”

“His jealousy for one.”

“He should be jealous, you’re messing with a coworker.” She laughed uncontrollably.

“He’s jealous of you.”

“Of me?” Danielle looked puzzled.

“Yeah, he thinks you and I are… you know.” She looked at Danielle suggestively.

“No I don’t know.” Danielle raised her eyebrow.

“He thinks we’re sleeping together.” Arianna confessed.

Danielle’s eyes widened, then she burst into laughter, “Arianna!” She threw a pillow at her.

Arianna laughed with her. This wasn’t the reaction she expected but it was making her feel so much better. “Why are you hitting me, that’s what he said?”

“Ew, you told him about the time we made out.” Danielle smiled and made kissy faces at Arianna.

“Oh my God you’re so gross.” Arianna slapped her shoulder. Then lay in her lap. “Remember those college days?” Danielle nodded. “I miss them.”

“Well, they were good times,” Danielle agreed smiling.

“I’m thinking about taking the bar again. I just need something new,” Arianna blurted out.

“Well, I can help you study.” Danielle offered.

“Thanks.” Arianna said. A tear fell down her cheek, Danielle was more than her best friend. She was her support system.

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Temptation and Betrayal

EP 6: Past Lives

It’s been two days since Jordan heard from Danielle. She really didn’t know how to feel about it but assumed that maybe she was busy. Or scared. Either way Jordan was not feeling good about the situation at all.

There were a lot of things that the two of them hadn’t talked about. Like whether they were single. How could she forget to ask? Danielle was so interested in her that it had to be real. But what if she has someone at home.

“Mom can you take me to school today?” Her 12-year-old daughter, Kiyah, asked from the bathroom.

“Are your legs broken?”

“C’mon mom please?”

“Ok girl, hurry up then.”

“Can you take me to McDonald’s too?” Kiyah asked smiling.

“I knew this was a set up. I can’t trust you,” Jordan said laughing and shaking her head. “Sure.”

Kiyah ran to finish getting ready.

She talked Jordan’s ear off the entire time they were in the car together. Jordan kept thinking about how Kiyah will be starting Middle School this coming school year. It was hard to believe. It seemed like just yesterday she was telling her mom that she was pregnant.

As Jordan headed to work she thought about Danielle again. What was keeping her?

She texted her again, Where are you? and still didn’t get a response. She was feeling a little disappointed because they really hit it off the other night. They exchanged messages all day and then it’s like Danielle disappeared.

What was going on?

Her phone rang. She got excited hoping it was Danielle. But it was Ken, Kiyah’s father.

“What’s up?” Jordan answered.

“Ugh, why you always trying to sound like a man?” He said disgusted.

“Why can’t you ever be a man?” Jordan retorted.

“I’ll always be more man than you.”

“That’s debatable,” She countered rolling her eyes. “What do you want?”

“To take my daughter away from you. That dike shit is nasty and she should know.”

She slammed the phone down. She hated giving him the time of day with an argument. Ken really was a piece of work. He has always been the biggest asshole ever.  Jordan couldn’t really understand how she let it get so far with him.

She was young and he was the quarterback at the time. All the girls wanted him and since rumors always surrounded her sexuality growing up, she wanted to do something to stop them. So she dated a guy. She tried to date a guy would be more accurate. They had sex and she got pregnant.

After a long day at work Jordan liked to come home and relax. She owns five car wash and detail shops. She likes to visit one or two every day for a few hours. It’s always unannounced and chosen randomly unless there’s a complaint. Her partner fills in for her from time to time.

When Jordan pulled up she could see that Kiyah was home because the lights were on. Jordan didn’t directly give her a baby sitter but she has her neighbor Ms. Margaret check on her every couple of hours. She even does a walk through for Jordan to make sure Kiyah is safe and alone.

Jordan grabbed the mail as she headed to her condo on the top floor. Downtown Manhattan was expensive living but Jordan loved it.

She called Ms. Margaret on the way up to let her know she was home. The elevator beeped on every floor, almost as quickly as Jordan sifted through the mail.

The elevator doors opened to Jordan’s floor but she stood there staring at the familiar handwriting on the envelope addressed to her at the bottom of the stack. Jordan felt her World tumbling down around her. The color drained from her face and her eyes widened.

“Mom.” Kiyah said meeting her at the elevator.

“Yes baby,” Jordan said snapping back to reality while her heart raced with fear.

“What’s wrong? You look like you saw a ghost,” Kiyah asked worried about her mom. She glanced at the stack of mail.

“Nothing.” Jordan put the letter back on the bottom quickly so Kiyah couldn’t see it, then took the envelope directly to her room.

Kiyah stood there. She didn’t understand her mom’s strange behavior but she brushed it off.

Jordan emerged from her bedroom with a fake smile on her face, “What do you want for dinner?”

“McDonald’s!” Kiyah said with no hesitation.

“No McDonald’s, your fast food quota for the week is maxed out.”

“Well, next time can I get a warning before my last meal?” She smiled.

“How about you stop wasting it on nasty McDonald’s,” Jordan laughed. “What do you want that we have here?”

“Mom, it’s not funny,” Kiyah said laughing, “Just make whatever.”

“Ok, remember you said that. Give me 30 minutes, and dinner should be ready.”

“Alright.” Kiyah kissed her mom on the cheek and left her alone to cook dinner.

Jordan sautéed some shrimp then steamed some rice and mixed vegetables for dinner. Her mind immediately went back to the letter. How did she find her again?

She texted her brother Omar, She’s back.

EP 5: Love is With Whom we Make It

Arianna watched the sunset, indulging in the moment. She realized that she and Shane shared more than just lunch. They shared an interest in people, politics, and much of the World. Sure he was fine but he was so much more than just his looks. They shared common goals and pasts. He was a companion intellectually. He was really something special.

“So I’ve been thinking. The conference is coming up and I wanted to know if you would go with me?” Shane blurted out uncomfortably.

“What? A conference?” Arianna panicked. She had known the attraction was mutual but they had never crossed the line. This would definitely change things between them. Was she ready for that next step? Was she really ready to get rid of Malachi and try to be happy with someone else?

“Yeah, with some partners. It’s a couple hundred miles away. I really mean no disrespect by it. I just want to get to know you better.”

“You’re serious?” Arianna looked alarmed, “You know I can’t just spend a week with you, I have a kid, and a boyfriend, whom I live with!”

“Why are you angry with me? I’m just trying to give us some time to see if we should pursue what’s between us.”

“Us? That’s ridiculous.” Arianna lied.

“You can’t deny that you feel it too.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of feeling.” She was stubborn.

He really wanted her to reconsider. “Just take a couple days to think about it.”

“No. I’m not easy. You can’t just tell me you’re interested then ask me to sleep with you in the next sentence.”

“I never said we would sleep together. It’s a two bedroom suite. I just want to get to know you. I swear.”

“Swearing? Quite the gentleman’s promise.” She couldn’t help but to laugh, lightening the mood between them.

He laughed too, then grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes. Arianna’s body was convincing her that she was close to fulfilling her desires of Shane and everything that would come along with that.

“Give me a couple days to think about it.”

“Ok,” he answered sincerely.

Arianna considered going to the conference with him. He was right. There are many things they can’t do because she has to come home every night. The conference is for four days and will be out of town. It’s perfect.

On the way home from work she stopped to see her parents.

“So what is this conference for?” Her mother asked suspiciously.

“It’s for the partners. My boss invited me last minute. Someone else was supposed to go but they were fired. I can’t say I feel bad for them.”

“And why isn’t Malachi coming with you?”

“He has to work.”

“What are you going to tell him when he asks you?”

“Spouses aren’t invited and he does have to work.”

“Girl who do you think you’re fooling? You’re lying through your teeth and to your mom? Shame on you.”

“Mom, I’m not lying.”

“Mm hm,” Her mom appeared doubtful.

“Can you watch Carter?”

“So you can cheat on your little boyfriend?”

“Mom, it’s not cheating. It’s work.”

“You’re really sticking to that story? Sure, I’ll watch my grandbaby. You need to remember that whatever’s done in the dark will come to light.”

“Thank you mama and I know.”

“If you knew, you wouldn’t be doing this. You better hope Malachi believe it more than me.”

“Thanks mama. I’ll call you with the details.”

Her mom’s warning bothered her deep down. I mean she could always stick with the lie no matter what but she wasn’t good at lying and she really didn’t know where she stood with Malachi. Their relationship was rocky. The jealousy was becoming too much for Arianna. It’s crazy.

She wanted out. She wanted Malachi to care about her happiness instead of only his. He had some great qualities but all in all, she didn’t like the way he treated her.

She grabbed Carter from daycare and the weight of it felt confining. She and Malachi have been together for a little over three years. Carter’s only five and the weight of leaving the only father he’s ever really had, made her feel she was two tons.

It was definitely something to think about. It isn’t like she’s never cheated before. She just hadn’t considered leaving before.

The thought of being able to date who she wanted and have weekends of peace where she doesn’t have to fight with Malachi.

The last thing Arianna had to do was tell Malachi about the last minute trip and that Carter would not be staying with him but she really wanted to go.

She was excited by everything. She felt bad for spending a week with another man. Especially since she definitely wanted to do some very physical things to him.

He made her feel things that Malachi had been lacking for some time now.

She pulled into the driveway hesitantly. She was trying to prepare herself to lie better than she did to her mom.

EP 4: What a difference a day makes

Stacey stared as Danielle walked in the house. She could feel her blood boiling. “I called you like 20 times, did you turn your phone off?”
 
“Actually it was 15 times and I had my phone in my purse. I didn’t hear it. I’m going to bed though,” Danielle said brushing past her and into the bathroom.
 
Stacey realized that Danielle didn’t care that she came in late and probably did it to get back at her. So she pretended not to care.
 
Danielle emerged from the bathroom a couple minutes later in her pajamas.
 
“Did you have a good time?” Stacey asked trying to sound just as nonchalant.
 
“I had a great time, probably going out again this weekend.” Danielle said in a matter-of-fact tone, sliding into bed. “It’s better than staying in the house and sleeping alone.”
 
“You don’t sleep alone,” Stacey claimed as she slipped under the covers, wrapping her arm around Danielle, “You sleep with me.”
 
“Actually, we don’t sleep together at all,” Danielle said moving Stacey’s arm off of her. “And I don’t plan on sleeping with you now.” She got up and went to sleep on the couch.
 
The apartment was a one bedroom so they had a pull-out sofa in the living room for guests. She was exhausted so she just grabbed a blanket and wasn’t going to bother making the bed.
 
“You can sleep in the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” Stacey said feeling guilty.
 
“Fine with me.” Danielle left the blanket there, “Good night.” She climbed into her soft bed embracing her blanket and pillows. Some nights it was all she had to hold.  
 
How could she sleep after such a night?  First of all, Jordan. Yes Jordan. She blew her mind in a couple hours. Damn she was sexy. Really sexy. And smart. And so sweet. It’s rare that people have these qualities let alone a potential mate that was also interested in her. She was a little excited.
 
Then there’s Stacey. Danielle couldn’t believe that Stacey didn’t care about her calls being ignored. Why didn’t it matter to Stacey? Maybe it was really the end. The lease will expire in a couple months, she could stick it out and get her own place.
 
Danielle finally dozed off with two women on her mind.
 

Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep, the alarm clock on her phone was relentless. Didn’t it know she’d only gotten three hours of sleep? She rolled over tapping the snooze button. She repeated this process for about two hours. “Ok, No more partying during the week,” she chastised as she stumbled out of bed and into the shower. She didn’t hear Stacey so she figured she’d left for work already.

She looked down at the stamp on her hand and last night’s memories rushed back to her. Jordan rushed back to her. Jordan. The connection they shared last night was amazing. They had one incredible conversation that lasted for hours and she was hooked. Jordan was an addiction that she was completely willing to partake in.

Stacey knocked on the bathroom door as Danielle was getting out of the shower.

“What? I thought you left?” Danielle answered.

“We need to talk about last night,” Stacey pleaded.

“Talk? There is really nothing to talk about.” Danielle opened the door, partially clothed.

Stacey stared at her body as she brushed past her. She was suddenly regretful of everything she risked losing just because she found other women attractive. “I disagree,” she argued.

“No, you just don’t like the taste of your own medicine.” Danielle smirked.

“I don’t. But that’s not the reason I want to talk.”

Danielle frowned her face in disbelief.

“It’s not the only reason Danielle damn, can I have two minutes? You slept all morning, I’m sure you could spare two minutes!”

“You’re wrong,” She said looking Stacey in the eyes, “I actually have no more time for you.” She walked out the door not waiting for Stacey’s response.

Stacey stared, watching her girlfriend walking away. She no longer recognized Danielle. What happened at that club last night? Did she cheat? Did she meet someone new? Had she been cheating all along? Dozens of questions raced through her mind.
 
Stacey had cheated so many times without getting caught that she had almost no boundaries. She didn’t care who she cheated with or how close they were to Danielle.
 
What happened last night? It was clear to Stacey that something changed. The thought of Danielle leaving her finally crossed her mind. She thought of what she normally does when she doesn’t come home all night. She panicked. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest. Danielle is going to leave.
 

Danielle drove to work feeling good. She was gaining control of her life again. That one little assertion of power made her feel as if she could conquer anything.

As soon as Danielle began working her phone rang, she was hoping it was Jordan.

“Hello,” Danielle answered sweetly. 

“Good morning, this is Jordan. Is this Danielle?”

“Yes,” Danielle smiled.

“I knew it, my heart skipped a beat when you spoke.”

“Did it?” She asked curiously as her heart fluttered.

“Yes” Jordan answered.

“Good morning Jordan.” Danielle said as a smile formed across her lips. She was blushing! Jordan thought about her continuously and threw her normal rules out of the window. She was different from any woman Jordan had ever run across.

“Save my number please.”

“Of course.” Danielle said getting goosebumps.  

Jordan didn’t want the conversation to end but had to get back to work. “Well, I’m working so give me a call a little later or text me.”

“Maybe, I’ll do both,” Danielle offered.

Jordan smiled again, blushing, “Maybe, I’ll hold you to that.”

 
 

Temptation and Betrayal – Hiding the Truth (EP 1)

“I’m tired of this shit. She could just be a real woman and tell me she doesn’t want to be here,” Danielle vented. She could feel the anger building inside of her.

“I told you to leave her a long time ago. I don’t even think Stacey has the capacity to be faithful,” Arianna said irritated.

“You know what Arianna, it’s hard for me to just up and leave after four years. I want us to work out.”

“I want a million dollars!” Arianna exclaimed, “but I know it’s not gonna happen.”

Danielle heard her the front door open. “She’s here girl. Thanks for talking to me I gotta go.”

“Bye girl.”

Danielle ended the call and turned the bedroom light on. Stacey stumbled in clearly tired and intoxicated.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Danielle demanded as Stacey leaned against the doorway.

“Sorry babe my phone died,” She said not quite meeting Danielle’s eyes.

“So that excuses you for disappearing more than half the night.”

“This is ridiculous. I just got home. Damn!” Stacey defended.

“What’s been going on with you lately?”

Stacey lets out a sigh, “What are you talking about?”

“You! You’ve been super distant, coming home all hours of the night, and tonight I called you 10 times! You didn’t even answer!”

“I already told you my phone died and I didn’t get it,” Stacey claimed.

“Bullshit!”

Stacey took her shirt off revealing chiseled abs, her locs fell to her shoulders, outlining her face. Danielle could not help but to think about how sexy she looked undressing. It didn’t help that they hadn’t had sex in weeks. “You’re tripping right now. I just want to get ready for bed,” said Stacey.

“I’m tripping? Seriously? You come home at three in the morning and I’m the one with the problem? You must think I’m stupid.”

“I’m not discussing this with you right now. I’m taking a shower and going to bed.” Stacey finished undressing and jumped in the shower. She really did feel bad about coming in so late but she fell asleep. Lately things had been different. Danielle had been nagging continuously and Stacey honestly felt the end of the relationship was near but how could she tell her that?

The hot water streamed down her body washing away the sins of another woman. Was Stacey a cheater? Of course. Did she love Danielle? Yes. But this wasn’t really about love. They had been together since Stacey was pretty young, 21, and she was starting to feel as if maybe Danielle wasn’t the one.

Stacey considered the fact that she should comfort Danielle instead of acting like her concerns were unwarranted. She stepped out of the shower drying her body off and thinking about how good it used to be.

She walked into the room to see a frustrated Danielle lying on the bed crying.

Danielle felt stupid for crying. Why is she staying here? Is love really worth this pain? Is this even love?

Stacey knelt in front of her. Their eyes met, “I’m sorry babe. It’s been a really long night,” Stacey said wiping the tears from her girlfriend’s face. The pain she caused pierced her heart.

“A long night with you and some other bitch, but what about my night sitting here waiting for you?” Danielle turned away from her. She was hurt. Everything that she had done and sacrificed for this relationship seemed to mean nothing to Stacey.

“I wasn’t with another bitch,” Stacey lied. She felt guilt creep slowly through her body.

“Sure you weren’t,” Danielle said trying her best to stop crying.

Stacey slipped under the covers. Danielle inhaled her scent loving it but feeling betrayed, she turned away from her again.

Stacey’s hand made its way up Danielle’s shirt squeezing her breast gently. “Stop!” Danielle demanded quietly pushing her away but her nipples hardened betraying her.

“Don’t be mad. It won’t happen again,” Stacey promised sucking Danielle’s neck into her mouth making her submit.

Stacey slid her hand into Danielle’s panties. She wanted to resist but her body longed for Stacey’s touch. It had been too long. She let out a moan as her legs opened, welcoming Stacey. “Mm,” Danielle listened to Stacey’s stifled moans as her fingers ventured between her legs parting her lips. Stacey’s body was pressed firmly against Danielle’s as her fingers traveled deep inside Danielle finding the spot where she so desperately needed to be touched.

Stacey moaned as her fingers stroked Danielle leaving her breathless. She still had the best out there. Danielle’s body tightened as she moaned in pleasure. She could feel herself losing control of her body. “Damn,” she moaned. Stacey stroked her relentlessly until her hand was soaked in her juices. Danielle’s body shook with pleasure. “Stop,” she said as she removed Stacey’s hand from her. “Go sleep on the couch.”

“Damn,” Stacey said getting out of bed and heading for the couch.

Danielle felt bad for allowing Stacey’s hand to even touch her. Why couldn’t she respect her? Four years and their relationship meant nothing.

Virginity: One Hole, One Penis

It’s been a while but I was recently reminded that I need to keep up with this blog. I have many dating adventures which I will most definitely share.

I was having a conversation with a woman I speak with regularly. Usually it’s about a woman that we both are friends with, whom she claims to be so into. Today she says to me “It’s hard for me to know where I stand with you.” So I tell her, “I physically find you attractive but you have too much going on for me to consider being anything more than friends with you.”
Just so you have a background on her. She lives with a chick that she has sex with on the regular basis. She’s adopted and has many issues with her foster parents and her real parents. She is a really good looking woman externally, but internally she needs to find herself.
So later in the conversation, I asked her about being a “touch me not.” In case you don’t know what that is, it’s a woman that doesn’t like their lady parts being touched at all during sex. So she says something along the lines of, “I’ve learned from my friends about giving it up to people who don’t deserve it. I’m saving myself for love. I’m a true virgin.”
I respond, “I understand, I enjoy sex very much but it’s not satisfying when it’s not with someone I don’t care about.”
She says, “It won’t be until you learn to love yourself and that person also loves you.” Then she goes on this rant “People low key high key blow tf out me. Is the world so phuqd that Purity is so invincible. Self preservation must just be a thing of the past that died with chivalry and verbal articulation? This worlds abnormalities make me feel like a motherless child and the last of a dying breed.”
Obviously I felt that this was directed toward me although she didn’t specifically say it to me. I have a couple issues with her thinking.
1. She’s not a virgin, she uses a strap on to have sex with females and provides oral sex to them.
2. Who says I don’t love myself?
 
Although I was quite offended by her words, I understand that she has some issues that she needs to deal with herself. So I didn’t go off on her. Although I felt she deserves it. 
 
But I have ran across this issue many times. People who believe that virginity is the act of a man penetrating a woman’s vagina with his penis. Although I lost my virginity this way I believe that sex is sex period. 
 
I used to know this chick that enjoyed anal and oral sex. She also enjoyed being fingered BUT since her vagina had never been penetrated by a penis she calls herself a virgin. 
 
Do you see where I’m going with this? Forget me being offended by her assumption that I don’t love myself because I enjoy sex. Why would anyone who engages in sex consider themselves virgins. 
 
Maybe this is just my opinion but as a woman all those things I gave as an example would be sex if I did them or asked my significant other if they have done them. I assume in the straight World men are more lenient with fingering being sex but as lesbians this is something we do regularly in bed and there is no way it’s not sex. Also, if you can catch an STD from it, with the exception of kissing, it is definitely considered sex in my eyes. 
 
But you know what they say, “Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one.” Personally I’m teaching my son that sex is sex and he needs to protect himself no matter where he lays his mouth or penis. But hey, maybe it’s just me. 
 

Creeping to the club

I have been having an awesome time in my hometown visiting my family. Let me tell you about my Tuesday. First, I let my girl know that I was going to lunch with my friend. She says to me, “It better be just a friend.” So I was pissed at her and I went off on her, but I calmed down. I told her that I love her and she should know I’m being true to her. She should be able to feel it in her heart and if she doesn’t trust me, I can’t prove that I’m being faithful to her. It’s impossible. I then told her how much I love her and how a long distance relationship is gonna be hard and if she can’t handle it let me know now. I don’t want to get anymore involved if she’s not going to be able to come through for me. I love that woman with so much in me, it’s ridiculous. 

Ok, so next my friend says, “You wanna go out tonight?”
I say, “Hell yeah. Let’s kick it bitch!” 

I told my girl and she was pissed. I could tell, because she gets two nights off a week and Tuesday is one of them. She went to the club with her friend on Saturday so I felt like she couldn’t really claim. I told her I don’t mind if she dances with girls. She replied, “I don’t know how you do it.”

So, we go to this club that one of my sister’s happen to work out. Let me just say it’s ghetto out here. The way they dress. They’re in the club smoking blunts. That had me tripping. 

so let me break it down for you. I didn’t really mind dancing with guys as long as they weren’t trying to grind on me. But these motherfuckers thought they could feel on me and shit so dancing with guys was dead. It was this old man I kept dancing with because he was in his zone and he didn’t touch me at all, we were a safe distance apart the whole time. 

There were three studs there. If you don’t know, I love studs. They make me feel a crazy type of way when I’m attracted to them. Two of them were together. The other was with her girlfriend. I assume that was her girlfriend because they were together all night. 

So, the two studs that were together, I went up to one and asked if she wanted to dance, then I asked if that was her girl. I’ve met plenty of studs that were into other studs. She shook her head, which meant nothing to me because I asked her two questions. Then I asked if she was drunk and she nodded. I’m like ok, strike one but whatever, I went through a period where I would try to get at studs just to test my game so I’ve been turned down plenty. I walked away. 

The one that was with her girlfriend. First, I give her girlfriend props, she had on this gray dress with a super big booty, she was just thick for no reason. Seriously though when I saw her ass I’m like damn your girl scored lol.

The stud though, was dressed in red, with dreads, she was brown skin, and the way she kept looking at me made me want to give up my religion for her. 

Still even with looking I don’t fuck strangers but I would’ve definitely done some things to her on that dance floor. whew! I cannot even express how she had me feeling, I just know even now, I’m thinking about her and that look she gave me. Jesus, I wanted her. 

So, next thing that happened. I was dancing with my friend and I felt like she didn’t smell fresh, so I was trying to split myself up from her so people didn’t think it was me. What? She’s grown enough not to go out smelling bad. I make my way across the dance floor to see if there were any new chicks to dance with. This girl grabs my arm to dance with her. I go to try and dance with her and this other chick basically pushes me with her body hard. I’m like ok chick, you got it. She wasn’t all that anyway lol. I keep it moving. Then a fucking fight breaks out, so I go back the way I came. I don’t want to get in a fight or get hit by some retards in one. On my way back to the area I was originally, I see the girl that pushed me out the way. She kinda stopped me and rubbed my arm sensually. I’m not sure what she said, but I said “hi” to her and kept it moving. 

I’m not really one for conflict as you can see. I always tell people don’t let irrelevant mf’s take them out of their zone. 

My friend says when we’re leaving, “If I was off on Thursday we would go to the gay club.” 
“Yeah, I would really get in trouble at the gay club.” I say to her. 

I had a really fun night and my legs hurt so bad viciously from dancing.