Tag Archives: homosexuality

EP 12: Life after Ecstasty

“We didn’t find semen but there were traces of spermicide so he must have used a condom.” The doctor said.

Arianna looked sick. The nurse, Abigail, felt for her. This was her first time dealing with a rape victim and it brought tears to her eyes.

“We found traces of methylene-dioxymethamphetamine in your system which is why you remember doing it but don’t feel like you consented.”

“Oh my God, what is that?” Arianna asked frightened.

“It’s Ecstasy.” Abigail clarified.

“It’s what?!” Tears trickled down her cheeks. She felt violated.

“Your blood alcohol level was still high, especially since you haven’t drank since last night,” The doctor continued.

“I drank before I went over there.” Arianna exhaled, shaking her head.

“I know you’re a little shaken up right now. It’s not your fault.” Abigail tried to comfort her.

“It’s fine.” Arianna dried her tears.

She got into her car and headed home. It was like her World was crashing around her. There was too much going on. She called Shane to make herself feel better. He answered right away.

“Hi, Shane.”

“Ari, is everything ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine. There’s a lot going on. I just found out my best friend is in the hospital… and Malachi left.”

Shane smiled to himself. Maybe he would get the satisfaction of having Arianna to himself. “You’re feeling alright?”

“Not really but I’m handling everything as it comes.”

They talked until Arianna reached her house. “Um, let me call you back,” she said then hung up the phone.  She was surprised to see Malachi’s car when she pulled up and was hesitant to walk in.

“So, I leave and you stay out all night?” Malachi accused when she walked through the door.

“I went to Danielle’s because she didn’t answer.” Arianna wishes she would’ve stayed home last night.

“Bullshit.”

“Malachi, I don’t want to argue. I’ve had a really long day.” The tears formed in her eyes, falling gently down her face.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He was pained to see Arianna cry.

“Nothing.” Arianna got in the shower and turned the water as hot as it would go. She attempted to wash away the shame and betrayal she felt.

“What’s going on Arianna?” Malachi asked from the door.

“Can I just please have a minute?” She begged from the shower. She broke down, crying hysterically. She had cried before but it finally hit her what had happened. Scenes from that night flashed in and out of her head making her nauseous. When Danielle finds out she’ll be devastated. And Arianna was ashamed. She was so ashamed. She scrubbed her skin raw under the hot water turning it red.

“Arianna, what’s wrong?” Malachi had never seen her break down. He had been with her through some pretty hard times. He was worried.

She wouldn’t answer. The hot water pelted her body. She wanted to wash the dirtiness away. She wanted to forget this whole thing happened.

She got out the shower and Malachi was waiting for her when she opened the door. He wrapped his arms around her and she found comfort in his arms. She needed him right now.

Her phone rang surprising her. She didn’t recognize the phone number, but she answered anyway.

“This is Arianna,” She said pushing Malachi away. She went into Carter’s room and closed the door.

“Hey beautiful,” she heard.

“Stacey?”

“Yeah. How are you? I really want to talk about what happened between us last night.”

“What do you mean between us? You drugged me. I would’ve never slept with you if you wouldn’t have put something in my drink. Loser.”

“That may be true but you had a good time. Orgasms don’t lie.”

“Stacey. What is wrong with you? Don’t call my phone ever again.” She hung up.

“What’s wrong?” Malachi asked from the other room concerned.

“Nothing.” She claimed. But there was something wrong. There was a lot wrong. The tears flowed freely from her eyes onto the pillow she held to comfort her. She rested in Carter’s twin size bed feeling horrified by what happened to her.

The next morning Arianna woke up and headed to the police station. She looked stressed and sad to the officer. The officer helped her with the police report but it was very uncomfortable. The details they asked for traumatized her all over again. She was embarrassed that she went over there drunk and even more embarrassed that she didn’t catch on to the extra sugar being something else.

She called to see if Danielle was still at the hospital. She’d been released and Arianna wanted to see her.

“Danielle, where are you?” Arianna said after Danielle answered.

“I’m at home.”

“With Stacey?”

“No she went to work, or wherever she goes.” Danielle commented suspiciously.

“Cool. I want to swing by.”

“Ok, I’ll be here. I’m not cleared to go back to work. They sent the work anyway.” She laughed. I’m getting rest though.”

Arianna headed to Danielle’s house. She walked in and found Danielle in her living room on the pull out bed.

“I thought you would be in your bed.”

“I figure if I have to stay in bed another week I want to be in a bigger space. The hospital made me want to pull all of my hair out.”

“I’m glad your back home.” Arianna smiled then sat next to her best friend.

“There has been a lot going on lately. Malachi left the other night.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Arianna said hesitantly and looked away.

“Why? I thought you two were good.”

“Well, there’s this guy at work. Shane.”

“Shit, I guess I’m not the only one then.” Danielle laughed. “Shane huh? What’s he like?” Arianna told her about Shane.

.

“Girl, you a hot ass mess.” She laughed, “What is wrong Malachi?”

“His jealousy for one.”

“He should be jealous, you’re messing with a coworker.” She laughed uncontrollably.

“He’s jealous of you.”

“Of me?” Danielle looked puzzled.

“Yeah, he thinks you and I are… you know.” She looked at Danielle suggestively.

“No I don’t know.” Danielle raised her eyebrow.

“He thinks we’re sleeping together.” Arianna confessed.

Danielle’s eyes widened, then she burst into laughter, “Arianna!” She threw a pillow at her.

Arianna laughed with her. This wasn’t the reaction she expected but it was making her feel so much better. “Why are you hitting me, that’s what he said?”

“Ew, you told him about the time we made out.” Danielle smiled and made kissy faces at Arianna.

“Oh my God you’re so gross.” Arianna slapped her shoulder. Then lay in her lap. “Remember those college days?” Danielle nodded. “I miss them.”

“Well, they were good times,” Danielle agreed smiling.

“I’m thinking about taking the bar again. I just need something new,” Arianna blurted out.

“Well, I can help you study.” Danielle offered.

“Thanks.” Arianna said. A tear fell down her cheek, Danielle was more than her best friend. She was her support system.

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Filling the Void EP 3

Danielle sighed as she stared at her reflection. She was ashamed. Stacey meant so much to her but it was clear she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. Weeks without sex and then she comes home in the middle of the night thinking sex would keep Danielle from being mad? This wasn’t about sex at all. It was about respect and Stacey had none. She knew that their relationship ended months ago but she was holding on to what used to be.
 
She missed the times Stacey used to take her out and they would stay out all night and all the times they wasted money on hotel rooms just to have amazing sex and not have to worry about the mess they made the next morning. 
 
She dressed for work. Danielle made her living as a public relations specialist for a Dog Food company. Not the best work in the World, definitely not what she thought she would be doing seven years ago when she graduated college but the fact is student loans don’t wait and neither does bills.
 
Work was usually boring and she hated her job. After she got home from work she figured she would give Stacey another chance to make up with her.  She put a lot into this relationship.
 
To Danielle’s surprise Stacey walks in house with Shyla. It took everything in her to act civil and not smack the hell out of her. Stacey’s mom was the worst. But she also had twin sisters Shayla and Shyla that hated her almost as much as their mom.
 
“Damn Danielle, dinner ain’t ready yet?” Shyla openly complained a few minutes after walking in.
 
“Did you make it?” Danielle shot back.
 
“No, ain’t that what the woman of the house is supposed to do?”
 
“Hmph, it’s sad that you don’t have business of your own,” Danielle said walking away.
 
Stacey’s family was the worst. The absolute worst. Why should she bother cooking dinner for a woman who can’t even come home every night? Seriously.
 
Danielle decided she wanted to go out. She got in the shower and put on her favorite red dress that hugged her in all the right places. Her makeup was flawless and her hair was still in a curly state from taking out her two-strand twists.
 
She didn’t know whether their relationship was worth saving but she assumed that it wouldn’t be based on Stacey’s behavior. Danielle was livid. How dare she bring he sister here and allow her to openly criticize. Danielle was getting more pissed by the second.
 
Danielle marched past both Stacey and Shyla and walked out the door without a word. After the door closed behind her Shyla turned to Stacey, “You’re just gonna let her leave like that,” she shook her head, “No respect. Why are you two even together?”
 
Stacey was feeling a little jealous. She hasn’t taken Danielle out in months and usually Danielle worked so much it wasn’t an issue. “Shy why don’t you just go.”
 
Shyla frowned her face at her sister, “Whatever girl.” She grabbed her purse and walked out the door a couple minutes after Danielle.
 
Stacey sat a little irritated that Danielle walked out the house without even saying goodbye. Was she trying to be disrespectful?
 
Danielle walked out feeling good. She hopped in her car and headed to Mariah’s house. Arianna was her best friend but no fun at the gay clubs but Mariah could out-dance and out-flirt anybody. She was so much fun.
 
She hopped in her car. “Girl! It’s about to be popping tonight!”
 
“Good. I need to get out,” Danielle said with little enthusiasm.
 
“Stacey trouble huh?”
 
“Is it that obvious?”
 
“She is terrible, I don’t even know why you deal with her.”
 
“You’re right. Hell I don’t know but I’m starting to see that no matter what I do, she’s not going to change.”
 
“Well we’re about to have a good time tonight because they have dancers.”
 
They headed to The Purple House on Grand. It was the biggest gay club out here. One that Stacey avoided because she never wanted to be seen.
 
As she walked in the club, she felt an overwhelming sensation that her life would never be the same. She just knew it was a very small chance that her life with Stacey would return to anywhere close to where it used to be. She accepted it.
 
Mariah looked at her friend and could see the worry in her face. “Let me buy you a drink,” she offered.
 
“Sure,” Danielle accepted. They made their way to the bar. Danielle felt beautiful but wondered why she was unable to satisfy the one person who was supposed to think she was the most beautiful woman in the World.
 
After a couple songs and a couple shots, Danielle finally started having a good time. She danced with everyone who didn’t have partner. She forgot how it felt to have fun and not worry about what Stacey was doing.
 
She sipped her drink and her body swayed to the music as she allowed this night to remove her from her reality.
 
Danielle felt a body pressed against her, “Can I have a dance?” She turned and faced the most beautiful women she’d seen in a while.
 
This woman was absolutely gorgeous and Danielle didn’t fight her attraction. She danced with her all night until the club closed at three. She had completely forgot about Mariah when it was time to leave.
 
“So, can I have your number?” She asked smiling, not wanting the night to end.
 
“I can’t give you my number, I don’t even know your name,” Danielle responded.
 
“It’s Jordan,” She said smiling showing two rows of beautiful white teeth. Her heart fluttered as their eyes connected. She couldn’t look away.
 
“I’m Danielle,” she smiled. She put her number into Jordan’s phone.
 
“Make sure you answer when I call.”
 
“I wouldn’t miss it,” She said. Jordan grabbed her hand and kissed it.
 
“Bye,” Danielle said mesmerized by their connection.
 
“Girl come on!” Mariah said yelling at her.
 
She caught eyes with Jordan one more time, “Don’t forget about me.”
 
“Never,” Jordan confirmed.
 
Danielle turned around and walked away. She had a different kind of high. She looked at her phone and saw that Stacey had called her 15 times. Maybe she knows how it feels now.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Temptation and Betrayal – Hiding the Truth (EP 1)

“I’m tired of this shit. She could just be a real woman and tell me she doesn’t want to be here,” Danielle vented. She could feel the anger building inside of her.

“I told you to leave her a long time ago. I don’t even think Stacey has the capacity to be faithful,” Arianna said irritated.

“You know what Arianna, it’s hard for me to just up and leave after four years. I want us to work out.”

“I want a million dollars!” Arianna exclaimed, “but I know it’s not gonna happen.”

Danielle heard her the front door open. “She’s here girl. Thanks for talking to me I gotta go.”

“Bye girl.”

Danielle ended the call and turned the bedroom light on. Stacey stumbled in clearly tired and intoxicated.

“Where the fuck have you been?!” Danielle demanded as Stacey leaned against the doorway.

“Sorry babe my phone died,” She said not quite meeting Danielle’s eyes.

“So that excuses you for disappearing more than half the night.”

“This is ridiculous. I just got home. Damn!” Stacey defended.

“What’s been going on with you lately?”

Stacey lets out a sigh, “What are you talking about?”

“You! You’ve been super distant, coming home all hours of the night, and tonight I called you 10 times! You didn’t even answer!”

“I already told you my phone died and I didn’t get it,” Stacey claimed.

“Bullshit!”

Stacey took her shirt off revealing chiseled abs, her locs fell to her shoulders, outlining her face. Danielle could not help but to think about how sexy she looked undressing. It didn’t help that they hadn’t had sex in weeks. “You’re tripping right now. I just want to get ready for bed,” said Stacey.

“I’m tripping? Seriously? You come home at three in the morning and I’m the one with the problem? You must think I’m stupid.”

“I’m not discussing this with you right now. I’m taking a shower and going to bed.” Stacey finished undressing and jumped in the shower. She really did feel bad about coming in so late but she fell asleep. Lately things had been different. Danielle had been nagging continuously and Stacey honestly felt the end of the relationship was near but how could she tell her that?

The hot water streamed down her body washing away the sins of another woman. Was Stacey a cheater? Of course. Did she love Danielle? Yes. But this wasn’t really about love. They had been together since Stacey was pretty young, 21, and she was starting to feel as if maybe Danielle wasn’t the one.

Stacey considered the fact that she should comfort Danielle instead of acting like her concerns were unwarranted. She stepped out of the shower drying her body off and thinking about how good it used to be.

She walked into the room to see a frustrated Danielle lying on the bed crying.

Danielle felt stupid for crying. Why is she staying here? Is love really worth this pain? Is this even love?

Stacey knelt in front of her. Their eyes met, “I’m sorry babe. It’s been a really long night,” Stacey said wiping the tears from her girlfriend’s face. The pain she caused pierced her heart.

“A long night with you and some other bitch, but what about my night sitting here waiting for you?” Danielle turned away from her. She was hurt. Everything that she had done and sacrificed for this relationship seemed to mean nothing to Stacey.

“I wasn’t with another bitch,” Stacey lied. She felt guilt creep slowly through her body.

“Sure you weren’t,” Danielle said trying her best to stop crying.

Stacey slipped under the covers. Danielle inhaled her scent loving it but feeling betrayed, she turned away from her again.

Stacey’s hand made its way up Danielle’s shirt squeezing her breast gently. “Stop!” Danielle demanded quietly pushing her away but her nipples hardened betraying her.

“Don’t be mad. It won’t happen again,” Stacey promised sucking Danielle’s neck into her mouth making her submit.

Stacey slid her hand into Danielle’s panties. She wanted to resist but her body longed for Stacey’s touch. It had been too long. She let out a moan as her legs opened, welcoming Stacey. “Mm,” Danielle listened to Stacey’s stifled moans as her fingers ventured between her legs parting her lips. Stacey’s body was pressed firmly against Danielle’s as her fingers traveled deep inside Danielle finding the spot where she so desperately needed to be touched.

Stacey moaned as her fingers stroked Danielle leaving her breathless. She still had the best out there. Danielle’s body tightened as she moaned in pleasure. She could feel herself losing control of her body. “Damn,” she moaned. Stacey stroked her relentlessly until her hand was soaked in her juices. Danielle’s body shook with pleasure. “Stop,” she said as she removed Stacey’s hand from her. “Go sleep on the couch.”

“Damn,” Stacey said getting out of bed and heading for the couch.

Danielle felt bad for allowing Stacey’s hand to even touch her. Why couldn’t she respect her? Four years and their relationship meant nothing.

The Gay Debate

Will it ever be possible for people to mind their own damn business? In wake of the Freedom of Religion bills passing through states that are just salty that gay marriage passed a few things have occurred to me.

Mark 12:28-34 this is the NIV but read which ever you’d like

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a]30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.”

32 “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him.33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

34 When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions.

Hmm…. I don’t see anything about treating others without compassion for any reason. This actually says that we’re supposed to love one another. One of the issues that I have with organized religion is that it was created so that people could choose what rules they would follow, add new rules, and delete old ones.

It’s funny that people who claim to be so Christian are the first ones to ever tell someone that they’re going to hell. Seriously? Oh so I’m going to hell because I’m gay, but fornication is in our culture and fornicators get into heaven. There are no laws being considered that will stop people from catering weddings of former rapists. I could go on and on but I believe my point has been made.

Another thing I actually believe, is people who don’t want to cater to same-sex marriages should put it out there. In my opinion if you would prefer not to do it, I would prefer to bless someone that actually wants this.

I won’t make this a long post but I have to discuss my annoyances…. SO! I saw this comment one day that said homosexuality was put into the Bible by a homophobic King. My first thought is what is this chick talking about? So I researched it.

It was true! The Bible was translated to make homosexuality wrong. The King James version is not the first version of the Bible and was produced to be politically correct but more importantly was the first to add anything about homosexuality in it. Don’t believe me? Research it.

Anyone who reads about David and Jonathan can clearly see that they had much more than a friendship. They were in fact in love and two of God’s favorites.

The argument about reproduction is invalid as there are in fact so many kids in foster care that all gay couples could get one and there would be more to spare. Plus it’s 2015 gay couples can get pregnant.

One of my biggest pet-peeves about people against the LGBT community are those who feel that it is just lust. When we all lust. A heterosexual man lusts no more or less than a homosexual one. But why should our relationships be denounced because closed minded people feel that they can tell us who to love?

In the meantime, while people are worried about how gay our sex is… Al-Qaida is taking over entire cities. Cops are shooting black men because they can, and no one is watching to ensure our veterans are taken care of. But I see how gay sex is a top priority.

Delivered from Homosexuality

This has been on my heart for a while so I felt the need to address it. Before I start this article let’s get a few things straight, no pun intended. lol
God is very powerful. I really don’t believe that being gay is a sin. It’s hard for me to find the devil in reciprocated love when it is a fact that God is love.
I believe that being “delivered from homosexuality” is equivalent to going back in the closet in most cases.
A couple things that I’ve noticed:
1. There is a romantic quality to being in the closet. In my own experience I’ve noticed that there was a high with people not knowing who I really was. Being out is really anti-climactic, especially since no one really cares.
2. The people that claim to be delivered from homosexuality usually have proclaimed being gay since childhood. Those of us that really worked hard to live that straight life live with a lot less guilt than those who have never attempted it.
So what does being delivered from homosexuality really mean?
I assume what being delivered REALLY would mean is that you no longer have desires for the same sex. I think people who claim that their delivered in most cases are agreeing not to act on desires. Is that really deliverance? When God delivers you from disease does he just stop you from complaining? Or does he heal you fully, stopping the pain and the effects of the disease? I think we can all agree that it’s the latter.
I have a few concerns with the deliverance method.
Masculine women are required to be feminine and feminine men are required to be masculine? Does the way you dress define your sexuality?
I am a firm believer that God allows some people to be ok with things while others can’t. For example an alcoholic may feel guilty about a couple glasses of wine, but a person who only drinks every few weeks won’t have guilt attached to that.
Does this make drinking wine a sin? Well, yes for the alcoholic but not for the occasional drinker. If God puts something on your heart to do or not do, just do it.
To some people being with the same sex is pure lust. I can admit to lustful thoughts but are heterosexuals free from lust?
Yes, you can stomach sleeping with the other sex but is it fair to them that you can’t be wholly physically attracted to them?
We’re all human so yes being touched a certain way can turn you on regardless of who’s doing it. You can and should love anyone you have any type of relationship with… as a Christian.
What I’ve learned since being with women is that there is a difference when u actually enjoy that person’s body. Not just the sexual organs. I honestly didn’t know that a man’s body didn’t turn me on… until I got with a women.
I do believe it’s possible to be delivered from homosexuality but I also believe that some of us are meant to be gay. Just be sure that if you feel condemned about your sexuality it is because God put it in your heart and not because humans believe they are the Messiah and can send you to hell.
No one is perfect. We all sin daily but God loves is anyway. My biggest pet peeve is when people say they’re Christian but they say something like “Well Jesus did die for our sins… but that doesn’t mean you can sin and be forgiven.”
He either did or He didn’t. If you don’t believe He didn’t don’t claim to be a Christian.
Bottom line is that you need to do what you need to do to be happy. If God puts something on your heart and it’s really bothering you then correct it. However, if you believe that all your problems in life stem from being gay, you’re in for a rude awakening.
The truth is bad things happen to all of us regardless. Remember Job? You’re no Job but I’m just making a point that he was a very faithful man who followed the word of God to a T and still lost everything.
So just ensure that it’s God in your heart telling you to change your life and not the nay-sayers around you because only you know your relationship with God.